I can’t make myself write a review for Chanel Miller’s Know My Name, although I gave it 5 stars in Goodreads – it’s strange to review a book that left me so raw in terms of “brilliant” and “beautiful writing” or “one of the best books I’ll read all year”. Those are all true but barely scratch the surface of what this book means to me and to others.
Chanel Miller’s account of who she was before the attack and what happened to her after is incredibly heartbreaking and shines a light on the very real problem that is the justice system. She is a “perfect” victim – she had her sister with her just a few minutes before to witness that she was drunk, she had witnesses who saw what the rapist was doing to her and caught him, keeping him there until the police arrived, she had a good job, friends, came from a middle class background, was educated and all around a “good girl”. And yet, she was re-traumatized by the process, silenced and given a whole new persona as a drunk, very willing young woman who “cried rape” after regretting her encounter and became “hysterical” in the trial. She had her voice silenced and dismissed, while her rapist had his voice amplified and taken as the true account of events, even when the claims were ridiculous. His sentence was even more ridiculous.
Her powerful victim statement brought to light the woman behind the anonymous victim, and forces us to humanize her. Her book goes further into what happened and also after the statement was published. It reminds us that this is her story, not his, that she is a person and she’s more than what happened to her, but also what happened to her changed her forever, affected her family and friends, too. It’s a painful account of how the system punishes the victim over and over and traps them with an almost impossible burden of proof – and even if you have all the proof you need, you still probably won’t get justice, or peace.
Yes, it’s a heartbreaking story, but it’s so much more than that; it’s powerful, it’s compassionate, it’s angry and sad, and very relatable to all the people out there who have gone through something similar. Giving a voice to the victim has made an incredible impact to others who felt silenced for so long. It exposes the flaws of the system, it turns the focus of the story to the victim instead of the rapist, as it should be. Chanel Miller is a brilliant writer and an incredible person.
Please make sure you are in the mental space to read a book that deals with Chanel Miller’s experience with the sexual assault at Stanford in 2015 and its aftermath.
This is a fantastic review, Naty! I just added this to my TBR and I am definitely going to get myself a copy soon.
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Thank you! It will be an unforgettable read, I am sure.
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I read this recently, too, and I completely agree with everything you said! Great review! I can imagine this wasn’t easy to write.
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Thank you, Stephanie! It was not, this sat on my drafts for months now! It was really hard to write about something that moved me so much, I can’t imagine how Chanel managed to write the book at all.
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I can definitely see that. I actually listened to the audiobook – which Chanel reads – and have no idea how she managed to do that and sound so calm. She’s kind of amazing.
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I think the audiobook would have been too much for me, although I heard she does an amazing job with it. And yes! She’s so amazing!!
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Incredible post, I wholeheartedly agree with everything about this! Know My Name should be required reading.
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Thank you, Emily! It definitely should. I wish people would pick this up more often!
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Everything you say here is so true. This book was so beautiful and so heartbreaking. It’s certainly not easy to read but an important book.
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Yes, absolutely! I’m glad to see some people commenting that they read this book – it got a bit of hype when it came out but I think I didn’t see it being talked about in the community a whole lot! It’s such a relevant book.
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